Phil's Journal

Entry #010

My gratitude goes out to the brave men and women of Platoons 5, 8 and 13 of SHIELD for their courage and a dedication to their duty. Without their help, the situation last night would not have been handled as easily. I would also like to thank Doctor Bruce Banner whose cooperation enabled a smoother “negotiation” with The Big Guy; the Life Model Decoy of Loki he requested to be stored nearby in case of an emergency came in handy when reducing The Big Guy’s stress levels. 

Needless to say, that particular LMD will have to be replaced, if not scrapped due to the damage it sustained. 

All in all, I say it was handled fairly well. We set up a perimeter, evacuated the building with a cover story regarding a gas leak, managed to calm him down and are handling post event clean up. (Renovations, Media Editing, etc)

Doctor Banner has also been given several cookbooks filled with cookie recipes to keep him occupied for the time being and I must say, he makes them smell fantastic.

- Phil

Not making waves

notaspoiler:

Tch, it didn’t even make the news.

Of course not. We didn’t let it hit the news. Sure, he caused quite a ruckus and we now have to rebuild four levels of his apartment complex, but all other tenants were safely evacuated due to a “gas leak”. The resulting “explosions” further strengthened our cover and since nobody was hurt and he didn’t burst out, they don’t have much to talk about. The fire department and the police were commended on their swift response and everyone goes back to their normal lives. 

Automated Response

From: Agent Phil Coulson
To: SHIELD

Situation: The BIg Guy is GREEN

Requesting immediate backup from platoons 5, 8 and 13.

Signal to be forwarded to callsigns: Patriot, Bird of Prey, Arachnid and Armor.

Careful now

notaspoiler:

thecoulsonreport:

Currently sitting in an Osprey on the way back to New York. The Boss was nearly hysterical over the phone. Being pulled out of my assignment temporarily to defuse a possible situation between Doctor Banner and Loki. I should get more points for travelling so much. 

-Phil

What do you mean a situation? Am I in a situation?

You could be, if things don’t go your way. You are currently in conversation with Doctor Banner, are you not? It would be wise that you don’t.. push his buttons. I’m just going to be there in case any action needs to be taken. 

Where is your brother?

Entry #009

Currently sitting in an Osprey on the way back to New York. The Boss was nearly hysterical over the phone. Being pulled out of my assignment temporarily to defuse a possible situation between Doctor Banner and Loki. I should get more points for travelling so much. 

-Phil

Anonymous asked: Dammit Phil, just accept the gift! Don't make the magic anon gods angry.

I mean no disrespect, anonymous persons beyond the internet. I would just feel bad for accepting something so valuable without having done anything deserving of such a gift. I am currently still in the field, but a sum of money has been sent into each of your accounts via SHIELD, as thanks. 

- Phil

#notrealmoney #rp!coulson out 

Entry #008

Somehow, I’ve managed to get a reception out here. Not a lot I can say since it’s classified, but I’ve been driving around for a while and I still can’t see what the Boss wants me to find. I hope things are going fine back home. I miss Taco Tuesdays with Natasha and Barton. We haven’t had that in a while. Maybe I can finish by then?

Well, I’m heading off again. A sandstorm is coming and I won’t get a signal. 

See you all soon.

- Phil 

Anonymous asked: Hey bb, wanna see my 'classified files'? - cheesy pick up line day. It'll be a thing.

It was a thing. Once. Then the Boss had it cancelled when too many people tried to be his “Good Eye”. Agent Romanoff was also annoyed by the many insect related pick-ups given to her and Agent Barton only got easter eggs. It wasn’t as entertaining as we were hoping it to be.

- Phil

Anonymous asked: Magic Anon! In the top drawer of your desk you will find a complete vintage set of mint condition Captain America trading cards. Your fans pooled their resources and found them for you. <3

I had no idea that I had a fan base. I’m just a guy. Doing what I have to do. I’m not a hero. And I can’t possibly accept such a lavish gift. I thank you all for the cards, but I feel I must return them to you once I return from my assignment. It would only be the right thing to do. At the very least, allow me to pay for them once pay day rolls around. 
-Phil